Motherly instincts

I got married pretty in today’s standards. But my husband and I decided to wait before we had children. We are both glad to have almost 15 years being just the two of us. We even had the chance to go travelling for a year. Sure we plan to continue travelling with our son. But in many ways it would be a different kind of travelling.

Approximately 2 years ago, I found out that I was pregnant. It was the 1st of April and I used 2 pregnancy tests just to be sure. J My husband even thought it was an April fool’s joke.

Only after I was pregnant did I start to concern myself with the whole topic of pregnancy, pre-natal care and the act of giving birth itself. Before that I was kind of like, “Yeah! I’ll have a planned C-Section!” The images of pregnancy in my head were those from movies, where when the water bag breaks a liquid gushes out from between the legs and where women scream like crazy from pain while pushing. So yes, I was basically afraid of the pain and thought that a C-Section although an operation would not be as painful as giving birth naturally.

It was only after I started reading up on the subject that I realised my misconception. Ina May Gaskin’s books helped me a lot to overcome my fear of the pain of giving birth. I truly recommend them to all pregnant women and their partners. I learned about how I can work with my body during the birthing process and even enjoy it. The approach was to focus on methods and techniques to deal with the childbirth pain instead of numbing it with epidural anaesthesia or replacing it with the post operation pain of a planned (and medically unnecessary) C-Section.

During the whole process of research, I was not only thinking about what was best for me. I also wanted what was best for the child. My motherly instincts were kicking in. In the end, there was no doubt in my mind. I was convinced that, if the pregnancy should progress normally and be void of complications, the best for me and my child would be a home birth. I wanted to experience a birth with minimal intervention, where I am completely at ease and can let the birth progress at its own pace.

I was able to convince my husband of this approach too. He realised that it was not the hormones talking but rather that I was making an informed decision and he supported me fully. Unfortunately this was not the case for my gynaecologist. She literally told me that she would not continue to care for me, if I planned on having a home birth. However she could not give us a single sensible argument why she was against it. At the end of our appointment, she simply said “See you in 4 weeks time”, assuming that just because she said no, I would drop the idea of a home birth. Luckily I found a midwife, who was specialised in home births and I switched to having all my pre-natal check-ups with her. I’ll write more about it in another post.

What thoughts did you have, when you found out that you or your partner was pregnant?

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